Today. Slightly traumatic. Ruttage.

I'm struggling a bit today. I really don't want to be negative, but ugh man, I need an outlet. Bear with me.

I think my boyfriend will be leaving for the mines.

I feel a whole bunch of things. Guilt: last week I had almost hoped he'd go. (I was mad, ok). Sorrow: for what I had hoped my life, our lives would look like next year. More guilt: because there are times when I doubt that future. Anger. Isn't this my life too? And then sometimes, a sense of calm. Everything happens for a reason. We just don't always know why.

Ah, youth.

Guh.

Secondly, I'll be seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at midnight tonight. I'm sad and excited and happy and emotional.

So. very. emotional.

Also. I'm at work. And I'm behind on my articles. If I like writing so much then WHY do I procrastinate... SO MUCH? What's wrong with me?!!!!!!!!

It's crazy how our decisions change our lives, throwing our life trajectory in a completely new direction, catapulting us to places we never expected. Yet we have to make these decisions with no idea if it's the 'right' one.

Maybe there is no 'right choice'. There are only different outcomes, and each is different, each is both right and wrong.

The infuriating beauty of life?

Out of Joy.

Life Choices. Me. Not Good At.

My boyfriend had an interview for a job in a mine. It is in a rural isolated town about 5 hours drive away. He asked me how I'd feel about that.

I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think I'd like to move. I mean, I like sushi. A LOT.

The funny thing is though, I'm not really sad or scared.

Where does that leave me?

I like the idea of living in a little country town. I like to think I could work in the local newspaper :)
But. Hmm.

I'm not going to think anymore about it unless/until it happens.

Right?