Do We Have A Problem?

"The happiest day of every girl's life is not when she gets married or pregnant or is set for life, but when the online order finally arrives at her door step... pure bliss." Discuss.

There comes a time in every woman's life when she catches sight of herself in her receipts mirror, and realises she's over-shopped. You realise you didn't really need those dove grey pumps. That this headband is way too OTT, and will be relegated to the headband cemetery with all the other fabulous purple glitter coated mistakes.

The problem is, these days, if you're having an ugly day, you may be couch-detained in frumpy gear and a scrunchy, but your credit card is most likely BOUNDING over the Atlantic.

(Metaphorically. Unless your card has been stolen, it's probably with you and the seven packets of Tim Tams on the couch).

The opening quote was posted online by a dear friend of mine. I immediately giggled and responded in the most enthusiastic caps lock. Post-giggles, I was again struck by something that's been bothering me lately. Why do we buy, and why does it feel so good?

 

The spoils of Ala Moana. I feel giddy.

Too many of us have liked shopping for too long for it to be a fad. It's not a trend, it's not a phase. Hell - it's a sport. You forage through your favourite stores. Given enough time, a true shopper will even rummage through the non-favourites. The mature lady stores, the cheap Asian outlets. The Kmarts. The Big Ws. (Correction - these are my favourites).

You sprint to the sales rack. You flip through with the speed of an Olympic sprinter; the precision of a gold medal archer. 

You improve with training. You get better at knowing what will or won’t flatter. You know a decent price-tag when you see one, and you know how to feign a frown at a counter when you 'spot' a loose stitch (that you spotted twenty minutes ago and decided to fix anyway). Most importantly, you know how to smile sweetly when the salesgirl suggests a ten per cent discount. 

Here's where the game changed; online. There's no instant gratification, no rushing home to show hide it from Mum/boyfriend/cat. You're now seventy bucks out of pocket, and you have nothing to show for it. But shit's about to get crazy.

There's now a heightened sense of excitement. You've hunted further than anyone else. Chances are minimised of someone else owning what will soon be yours. You will be the envy of every woman who dreams of being able to pull off a pair of canary yellow brogues. Seven to ten days delivery? The anticipation! The FEAR that it got lost on the way. The FURY when it hasn't arrived on the seventh day. The frustration that you might actually have to wait til the tenth day like all the other schmucks. The terrifying thought that it might not fit. The SWEET SWEET ELATION WHEN IT DOES! 

Lucy has a problem.

I have this theory. Cavemen. Lionesses. Emperor penguins. We’ve just evolved in the era of the loyalty card. We no longer set out to hunt for food. We don’t impress the rest of the tribe with how much mammoth-bacon we bring home – we now whip out the Olga Berg, the Steve Madden, the MAC lipstick.

'Oooh, ahhh!', the tribe exclaims in the nightclub bathrooms. On holiday, my sole reason for buying a cheap pair of Steve Maddens was to see the look on a friend's face.

Ron Haynes' article Why Do You Shop? 10 Reasons And How To Change Your Shopping Habit reveals we even get some other items with our shiny new purchases. Emotional reward, feeling cool, acceptance. Escape. We get these free of charge! Hooray, bargain, lucky us!

No matter what you buy, how much it cost, or how you bought it, the end result is the same: I bought this and it makes me look and feel fabulous.

Reading those points makes me feel icky. And like I should race out to the nearest nursing home to volunteer. Did I buy that fabulous gold sequinned shirt from Sportsgirl because I liked it, or because I was trying to feel better about myself? Did I buy it because, God forbid I return home from Sydney without having bought anything? Return to the tribe empty-handed? No no no.

Children are starving. Children are dying. Grown men are carting their entire life down the same street every day in a small sad duffle bag. Preventable diseases are rampant and lethal; and here I am, clean, fed, educated and considering a stupid floral purse?

Yeeeeesh. I feel awful. Unless your last name is DeVille (fabulous faux by the way darl), I'm guessing you might too. This piece started as a (hopefully) humourous blow-by-blow description of the online shopping process. And now I've guilted the crap outta myself. I am completely lost in the murky waters of conscience. Let's work through this.

Logically: if you give generously to the less fortunate (and I don't mean your pal who doesn't yet own Mimco), there is nothing wrong with shopping. There is nothing wrong with rewarding yourself for working hard.

... Right?

Then why do I feel so slimy right now?

Bali - Barter yer heart out

Dudes, Bali shouldn't be expensive - food is cheap, transport is cheap, and clothes are cheeeeeeeeeap. The issue is not knowing how much stuff is worth & getting ripped off. I was lucky to have a friend who had been to Bali before. So, perhaps I could be that friend to you...

Here's a rough coupla tips:

TRANSPORT: Most of my taxi fares were around the $2 mark. You need to either get in a Blue Bird taxi (light blue ones - be careful, the others will try to trick you by looking the same), or you need to negotiate your fare/demand that your driver put their meter on. My friends (a few of them big burly boys) got locked in their cab by a driver wanting 50,000 IDR for the ride. Scary stuff. They're fine, but it's something to gulp about, eh.

If you're game to try a 'scootscoot', 20,000 was the average rate for a 5 minute scoot. (Note - I did scoot a  few times. Thrilling. Terrifying. Noone tell Mum).

SHOPPING: Bartering is an art-form here.

Don't look too interested in what you want to buy.

Ask off-handedly how much they want for it. When they give you the price, shake your head, and laugh.

Because their quote will be outrageous.

If you have no idea what the item should be worth, I say that your counter offer should be a little more than half of their offer. This rule doesn't always work though. I got a few people asking for 150,000 Rupiah for a pair of sunglasses. That's about $15 Australian. That's bull. And if you buy sunnies in Bali for any more than 20,000, laughter will be had. At your expense. Literally.

Here's a rough guide:

Sunglasses - 20,000

Singlets - 25,000 (Bintangs) to 35,000 (nicer)

Thongs - 50,000

Dresses - 40,000 to 60,000

Shoes (sneakers) - 80,000 to 100,000

Watches - 45,000

Peace out buuuuuudddies.

Stone Cold Failure & Shopping Addiction

Alright kids - a-post-a-day failed.
Failed miserably!
I had good intentions, but I let a few things get in my way: i.e. attempting to access the internet after school hours is marginally easier than getting water from a stone; I had recently discovered Asos.com and spent any time online with a window on Asos browsing through coats and some ugly overpriced bags; I was totally uni-student-on-holidays LAZY!

It is the second reason that really catches my attention though - the shopping thing. I read an article a few Sundays ago in my local paper (The Sunday Mail - getting a bad rep from every corner these days) about people that had changed their lives by doing something for a year. An example was Julie Powell of Julie & Julia fame, there was one lady/girl/lady-girl who wore the same dress for an entire year(theuniformproject.com - and may I say, woah. Have a look & get yoself some inspiration!) and in doing so raised enough money for 200 underpriviledged children to go to school. The article focussed on one woman in particular, who admitted to having a shopping addiction and had given up ALL shopping for 365 days.

I realised - I don't need these ridiculous things in my Asos shopping bag (I'm sorry Asos, you're wonderful, but I need to see other hobbies). I don't need a new dress for the party this weekend (I had actually been considering spending $70 AUD on getting a $40 dress to me for said party). I do not need to be shopping for a new dress for the next party I go to either!

... I will admit that I bought a fabulous skirt the other day. But! But! It was fifty per cent off! (Who pays $74 for a skirt anyway??)

So, here I am. I admit, I am not completely cured of all shopping. I feel like the next step toward that would be volunteering overseas and having the absolute shock of my life.

I'm definitely again on that inspired path again. I just need a little nudge every few days or so to remember to stay on it and not get so distracted by the lupins on the side of the road. (Lupins are these MAGNIFICIENT flowers in New Zealand that grow by the thousands on the side of the road).

So! I'm setting some new goals. I apologise, I'm probably going to keep doing this. I figure it's ok if I alter some of them if they really don't work, so long as I'm not just procrastinating in changing them.

Goals for 2011:
- Read 100 books by 2012 (holy crap)
- Do an international internship (I'm a dazzling PR graduate if anyone's interested :)
- Figure out something meaningful for this blog!
- Write an article for publication in print/online media... and get it published!

The book thing stems from my friend telling me how many books she read last year. If not for the extremely large fascinator adorned on my head, my eyes would have popped out of it. If I am to be serious about writing then I need to spend less time Asos-ing (sorry dude, you've been totally bagged in this post) and more time strainin' the ol' eyeballs!

Books read so far in 2011:
- It Had To Be You, Susan Elisabeth Phillips (awesome)
- Heaven, Texas, Susan Elisabeth Phillips
- Bet Me, Jenny Crusie
- Rose Madder, Stephen King (woah NELLY)


P.s. check out goodreads.com. Addictive!