Dumming inglish down 4 us kidz

In a 2008 BBC article, academic Ken Smith (an incredibly generic and equally difficult name to google by the way), has suggested that we should accept spelling and grammatical errors as "variant spellings". Smith is a university academic who corrects exam and test papers and year after year is confronted by 'thier', 'arguement' and 'truely'.

I find it depressing that either lacking education or laziness (or both) are permeating so heavily through our society that we would be willing to break the rules of the English launguage. After all, thousands of people run through red lights every year. What would happen if the police suddenly said, 'Look dudes, we've been trying. But they just keep doing it so, I guess we'll allow it'. It would be goddamn chaos you shitty shitty men of the law.

So my argument is, would the majority abide by the rules if those same rules are breached by the minority, and without consequence? I don't think so. Furthermore, how can we improve if we are never corrected? Although criticism can at times be disheartening, it is often the best way to better yourself.

A goddamn fantastic - and hilarious - example of this recently featured on 30 Rock. Main character Liz Lemon snags herself a handsome boyfriend whose lived his whole life in a 'bubble'. He thought he was a tennis god because women begged him to teach them. He thought he could cook fish with Gatorade. He was a doctor that didn't know how to perform the Heimlich manouvre. This ignorant pretty boy led an charmed life because no-one had the guts to criticise the actions, cooking or medical skills of a beautiful person. (The beautiful person in question is Jon Hamm. Yup. Drool factory).

They say ignorance is bliss; but who are 'they'? What if 'they' didn't even know how to spell ignorance? Would we still refer to this age old axiom time and time again if it had been mispelled the first time?

Language in itself is amazing; we just take it for granted because we use it every day. It is a tool that has withstood the test of time, that allows us to understand what other people want or see or feel and allows us to communicate the same to others. The English language is a beautiful and complicated creation. I marvel at the music of phonology and the intricacy of semantics; at silent letters; at the eleven different ways of pronouncing the letter 'a': (“age”, “bad”, “bath”, “about”, “beat”, “many”, “aisle”, “coat”, “ball”, “beauty” and “cauliflower”).

We are the generation coping with - and still contributing to - the loss of the Ozone layer. Many of our endangered animals are currently on the brink of non-extistence. Our civilization has already lost so much of its culture to floods, fires, earthquakes and the wankerish aspects of human nature. Let's preserve the rules of our languages and grammar, and take it one extinction at a time shall we?

World Wide Web = Big Brother?

Big Brother. We've all watched the reality television show (anyone who denies this is a liar... or a saint), but before the title 'Big Brother' became all about nudity, tedious arguments and romances that barely lasted out the fifteen seconds of fame it represented dictatorship and oppression. The article discussing the World Wide Web and it's latest web-threat has further chipped away at the steadily tinier piece of security I find harder to hold on to.

The article suggests that Web users - and our personal activities on the Web - can be tracked by governments and corporations. These organisations have these capabilities in order to monitor and evaluate the success of their sites.

I can't decide how I feel about this. On the one hand, I am taught that measuring and evaluation are tools that must be used in order to be successful. Yet a larger part of me shudders at the thought of being monitored like a Costa Rican spider monkey.

I doubt there's anything that can be done to stop this process, I just hate the thought of someone snooping on me while I'm snooping about on Facebook.

Someone always spoils the fun: Paying for online content

A recent survey of almost 5000 people in the US and Europe has indicated that readers of online newspapers might be willing to pay up to 97% of what we normally pay for the print versions!

Now, I don’t have a particular issue with new forms of technology and advances in media publishing, or even with people wasting their money. In fact, as the girl under a self-imposed ban from eBay (after one month, one dress and fifteen dollars postage), I am one of the worst people to judge the spending habits of others.

What I do have an issue with is when people do and say things that affect the rest of us. It’s all good and lovely that you’re willing to pay for your business section, but don't tell anyone! In doing this you are ruining a perfectly good thing for the rest of us. You are hindering society. The market researchers click their heels together on their way back to the office where they smugly publish these results, and bam! Everyday Joe is forced to buy his access to his previously free online sport and business reports.

Indeed, Rupert Murdoch is currently scheming how to slug us all a few extra bucks, and plans to have this scheme up and running in as little as twelve months. Lucky for me I have no interest in sport; or business. But it’s the principle of the whole thing!

I’m beginning to see this pattern occurring more often in my life; when something seemingly inevitable looms over the horizon and it could easily be prevented by public unity, but never is. My case in point is the Live at the Zoo mosh. There was no way those flimsy barriers were going to hold that crowd, and every time a couple of idiots in crowd surged forward, the people in the front had no choice but to succumb to inertia and go flying.

I ask, why can’t people just stop being helpful? (What my inner bogan would really love to ask is: Why can’t people just stop being dumb? However, as that could be is offensive, I will refrain).

I propose that from now on we, as a united public band together. Let us take our inspiration from Freedom Riders of the 1960s, from Mahatma Ghandi – let's stick it to the man ... Peacefully!